Can You Be Ashamed of Your Privilege

This week we’ve been talking a lot about cultures. How do cultures affect families and
what situations are bad and what situations are good. There’s a good and bad side to
every culture and its just about trying to figure out how to make it work in this crazy life.
Reading and listening to all the course readings and viewings this week combined with
listening to all the experiences in class was very interesting to me. I guess it's hard to
imagine that some people really did grow up a lot differently than I did.

I know I grew up very privileged. I had both parents in the home and nothing to crazy
ever happened to us. I’ve had my fair share of trials and hardships but I always had
money. We always had food on the table and we always knew my dad would provide
for me and my family.  The world is a lot bigger than the towns in utah I grew up in. I
realize that. I have friends from all different kinds of backgrounds and I know situations
are tough for a lot of people. That’s why it’s sometimes hard to swallow my privilege.

You’re probably thinking something along the lines of “what does that even mean?”
or “You’re privileged just be grateful.” or something like that. Let me explain; First of all
I just want to relate to people. I want them to feel comfortable with me. I want them
to know they can tell me anything without fear or worry of judgement. I want to be a
support for the people I care about. Sometimes I downplay my experiences because
I’m scared they might perceive me a certain way. A way that I don’t think applies to
me. Or that they just might be uncomfortable sharing the things they have gone
through because of my bringing up. Deep down I know that this is a strange fear.
People don’t care that much about where you’ve come from they just care about
how you treat them and others. Nonetheless I want so desperately for people to know
that I understand. Even if I grew up completely different from them.

Part of this probably comes from the fact that I want to be a marriage and family
counselor. I feel the need to understand people because i’ll have to for my future
career. I want to be prepared for people who have completely different backgrounds
than I do. I’m afraid that people won’t think i’m qualified to give them counsel. I want to
be and do the best that I can and sometimes I wonder if my privilege gives me an
advantage or a disadvantage.

Another part of it is my craving for deep connection. I want to understand why people
are the way that they are. I feel very inclined to figure people I don’t know out and to
do that you have to know about how they grew up. Growing up is where we form. We
become the people we are meant to be from the experiences of our youth. I feel like
I know people so much more when they tell me memories from their childhood.

We are formed from our experiences. Our culture defines us. It's important to know
how that has affected you. It’s also important to understand the cultures of other
people. It helps us to create empathy with one another. Creating environments where
people feel comfortable with everyone is something that should be essential
everywhere. Sometimes it's scary to share your experiences with people but if you
know that they are at least trying to be understanding it helps so much.

Overall I know it's kind of weird to think about. Being ashamed of your privilege is probably
a weird concept to some.  Privilege or not we were all given our life experiences for a reason. Heavenly father knows what we need to learn and to grow and so we should just try to live
our experiences to the best of our abilities. We should always try to help people when we
have the resources and capacities to do so. Privilege isn’t something you should be
ashamed of unless you take advantage of it.